The Estrogen Darkweb

It's A New Day, But Instead of a Sun it's an Exploding Moon

My name is Belay Last and I have a terrible secret.

When I ran for Comptroller I didn’t think that I would win. I was running against 10 term incumbent and nobody was aware that a regular citizen could vote for a comptroller. It was at least one punchline in every municipal civics poetry slam I attended. I had to stop going when it became too esoteric. Too much about parallel morals. Parallel worlds. They had a big banner over the entrance that read “NO SARCASM.” That’s the world you live in working public sector, absolutely genuine at all times. Subversive ideas rode upon chariots of memetic irony. So when they made fun of me I knew it was serious business.

I was voted in by the people you would expect to care about this position; some financial experts, but mostly fringe types. I field calls from them daily. Do you have any idea – the slightest notion – how much money disappears every year? It’s not one giant hole, it’s modest holes at every single level of government, and as far as I can tell it’s not embezzlement or for personal gain.

There’s a hivemind operating behind this thing, a cellular queen consciousness that looks like a grid of fractals once you catch a glimpse. It’s aligned with the cosmos and runs close to nature, it’s the airlock between our world and the natural world we’ve insulated ourselves from. It wants money, though. Millions of dollars and each department pays in. I don’t know how it works in other parts of the world but it can’t just be this city. Not long after I was elected I discovered that comptrollers aren’t voted in, typically. So I don’t need to be subject to a reelection. I can stay here forever.

I told a joke about it at the slam night and nobody laughed. It wasn’t different than any other joke but I got the sense they opened the airlocks of their eyes and sucked the oxygen from the room.

End the War on Jacking Off
They won’t let us have any more starches in here but they let us have cameras. I will use the world of cinema to make my stand. One day this war will end.
Chinless Nazi Vs. Mexican Who Is All Chin
There’s no real platform, man. It’s all a fugazi, the real decisions are made in the moment. It’s the opposite of how it works out there in the real world. Long term plans aren’t life or death, those confront you.
teach mixed race kids how to photoshop holocaust photos so they have joker makeup
What if luxury wasn’t something you could buy? What if a glance was more than a protracted stare? What if a dream became something that chased you? That’s me. vote for me.

Are you ready to take your business to the next level?