Many folks have messaged me about the Soap God’s Ascension Chain port, along with the secret of who controls the world, and here it is – finally. For those not in the know, the game was remastered by Hien-I’neuo Media, but the controls and most of the story remain the same for fans of the original. Due to this taking place IRL,die hard fans will notice some alterations, but the good news is it’s all mostly there.
This Story Mission guide will take you from the opening Cream Zone intro to the final Tesseract Zone, easter eggs, and everything in between!
In this strategy guide, you’ll find:
HINTS // Basic tips and info on puzzles and their origins, for purists. CLUES // In-depth walkthrough of each puzzle with solution, to boot. CONTRIBUTOR NOTES //Comments from the community about advanced strategies and considerations. SIDE MISSIONS // Extra achievements and trophies for each puzzle.
Without further ado, let’s roll!
MISSION 1 (Cream Zone): OLD Shipyard.
Location: Western side of warehouse enclosed by short fence.
WARNING: Entering the shipyard is easy even for beginners. However, during the day there is no significant security and you can pretty much just wander in on foot and mingle in with the workers. The warehouse you want is on the southeastern most corner of the yard. Across the pavement is a wall with a single window near the top and a telescope pointed down; this is how you’ll know when you are close. Don’t worry, during the day there is nobody around in this particular area. The fence can be scaled without much difficulty. The painting will be secured to the wall in a gold frame at eye level.
The painting is an old woman and child (grandmother and grandson?) with their backs turned to the viewer multiplying into a red balloon with a large grey disc above them. Burning Roman architecture in the background, stormclouds in the sky look like boiling stew. Water droplets fall and form the figures of strange humanoid creatures with pointed heads, joints, and limbs.
1). Hint about how to solve it: The red meteor in background directs you to a flower in the far corner but before you can see the center a sharp ringing that directs you to…
2). Full Solution: locate the centermost reflection in the red balloon that you have to lean very close to see. It’s of a man with his head turned backwards taking a photo of the tableau. The title of the painting is “Point Blank.” It refers to a place called Blank Pointe in a town called Backhead. It’s a deserted ghodt town where you will find the next puzzle location. It can be discovered in a news search due to the abandoned solar panel factory causing problems approximately 80 km from the warehouse.
3). Side mission (optional:) This is the only side mission that has an official title, the ‘Hien-I’neuo Gun Exchange.’ It was ported to the game later as an easter egg for players to meet the developers and expand the scope of the story for true diehard fans. You’ll want to head towards the building you saw the telescope in and on the main floor enter one of the green lockers lining the southernmost wall. This can be done at any time night or day, and there’s even a hidden glitch where if you look up the metal staircases you can see some NPCs frozen and waiting. Once you close the door on yourself you can peer through the vent in the door to witness a gun exchange between two groups: one group is wearing dirty tuxedos (Hien-I’neuo Media) and the other are in hoodies and cargo pants (Government Boys.) The exchange will go on for 12 minutes without speaking, at which time all the figures will collapse into piles of clothes on the floor and red slime. Once this happens you are free to leave, bsout if you approach the tuxedos you can dig through the remains and recover a plastic head. On the bottom you can find “Made In Tesseract World. All Rights Reserved.” There is no consequence for taking the head and it can be a fun callback later.
Completing this mission will grant you access to the next mission, FLOAT CEMETERY.
*[Contributor Note: Occasionally the back of the head has blonde hair. If so, this is a “trick painting” and players have reported being followed by black helicopters before ultimately going blind sometime before mission 3 . It’s impossible to say if they’re related but don’t take the risk out there. Wait a month before applying to Horak again.]*
MISSION 2 (Cream Zone): Float Cemetery.
Location: Side of old float from 2011, pig in hat.
The float cemetery can be found in a field adjacent to an unlabeled storage yard for retired carnival equipment. There is no security to speak of 9 times out of 10, but approaching during the day is safer than the evening due to low frequency of vagrants and predatory animals. The float cemetery can be spotted from downtown Backhead by a large black lighthouse set back from City Hall. Navigating through the decaying parade floats can be difficult but there are 2 main paths that cut from North to South and East to West. The one you’re looking for is a tall yellow pig wearing a top hat located near the central intersection.
The painting is a Chinese restaurant where it’s just lower torsos sitting at the tables except for some pointed black figures in the window to the outside. The background is just mountains and cliff sides. The ceiling is a swirling portal with a red laserbeam descending from it with a large white checkmark at the top. Tops of liquor bottles at the bar are stretched out to the adjacent wall. Room to kitchen looks like a waterfall filled with briefcases made of billowing curtain but it’s blurred by a piece of gummy saran wrap that can’t be removed. Yeah, it can be tricky!
1). Hint about how to solve it: Consider the trinity of meanings behind Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations and look towards what terrifies you to conquer it.
2). Full Solution: if you turn the painting upside down and tilt it away from you, you can see further into the swirling energy portal in the ceiling. Visible through the portal, written on the wall of what looks to be an esophagus are coordinates to the next location. They need to be looked up on a map, it’s close to a secure location.
Completing this mission will grant you access to the next mission, UNDERWATER.
**[Premium Member’s Edit: there witches spoiler alert there weird twisted up naked witches in a cave and the government will shoot u if u try to run don’t even bother my dude]**
MISSION 3 (Poison Zone): Underwater.
Location: Enclosed in glass dome near drainage tube.
WARNING: There’s a self-harming guard patrolling the area around the entrance, but he’s pretty much the only way through. Many ways to go about it but the best is avoiding him after he does his rounds and goes to cry in his car. He will immediately bring up his kids. If you tell him he has none he will shoot himself in the shoulder and blame you. Do not try to reason with what he says.
Most other interactions result in him throwing himself off the ledge or cutting his limbs and blaming you. The only way to outsmart him is lock eyes with him and say “you will see them tomorrow.”
This painting is a trippy kaleidoscope depicting a fractured dimension of fractaled-out skeleton arms pointing inward at a black hole with a star in orbit around it. The star appears to have a wretched brown virus travelling through it and a series of arcane symbols leading down to an upside down tree.
The virus is a terraforming veinwork spreading across the sun in a cycle of life and death, shown all at once. Electricity leaps off into the black hole. Dancing around the tree is a group of blackened creatures sweating off morbid electricity as well, all congregated around some a twisted machine. On the outer rim of the painting beyond the arms is a replicating ring of a single grey bedroom phasing through time erratically while a slime creature emerges from the walls, illuminated by the rising sun. The same terraforming is visible through the window, in a similar background sun.
1). Hint about how to solve it: Viewing the painting from the side will let you see the raised parts of the painting like frozen hair, thin translucent crystals are sticking off. They are of different lengths and each act as a prism which depending on where the sun is can make them hard to see. They also have the unique effect of making it invisible at night; many people get this part wrong in an attempt to avoid the guard.
2). Full Solution: Look for the longest one and see the palm of the hand it is coming from. The hand is making the sign of the number three, and this is where you align the third peak of the yellow star symbol by the tree. Once overlayed the symbols form the downtown core of the city of Bloomsberg with a special focus on a location on the West side of the city.
Completing this mission will grant you access to the next mission, BIG LANDFILL.
3). Side mission (optional): You will need a personal item for this mission; most wallets, purses, or IDs will do. To the West of where you found the puzzle, right beside a sunken shopping cart, you will find a disused underground inlet which you can use to swim underground for a few hundred meters. As you proceed inward, the temperature of the water will increase until it boils so don’t go too far! Right as the water begins to fog, on the right you will see a carved depression in the wall. If you brought a flashlight you can see the inscriptions, but they’re indecipherable so it’s not essential. Leave your personal item in the depression and leave. If you do, the guard will stay in his office for the next player. Pay it forward!
*[Contributor Note: The guard goes home at 5 PM but arrives at 7:30. The easiest time is to go at 2:30 PM when he is tired. He’s wearing a belt in most of them so read up on when people used to wear belts to know ow to talk to him. when inside his office his eyes are white and bulge out all over his forehead like water balloons so wait until he comes out.]*
MISSION 4 (Poison Zone): BIG Landfill.
Location: Placed on side of tower of cars.
Woman drawn in portrait staring forward with a square forest for a face but the trunks are blurred like on TV. The lines of the backgroundare microscopic mountain ranges that are fully detailed if you magnify them. It’s painted as if it has a black translucent drape over it. In the background is a plantation at dawn with peacocks wandering around.
There are gravestones with filled champagne flutes standing amid the grass before them. Rolling red hills are behind the farmhouse covered in vascular branches, along with a giant grey baby shunted into the hills like a cosmic arrowhead. The tears welling up in its eyes look like granite with flecks of gold. Its visible arm is a rectangle connected to another. One eye faces the painting, the other has dripped like an egg and connects to the ground and causes smoke to emerge from a field of tulips.
A group of lean grey humanoids with squares on their backs and long pointed scalps are luring in a line of children through the tulips. One facing the viewer has smoky vertical stripes for eyes.
1). Hint about how to solve it: That sound when you drag your fingers across your palm, what if I told you your ancestors could hear it? I’ve seen that before.
2). Full Solution: You have to go into the car it is painted on and in the glovebox there is a letter to the next location. Don’t take the letter as you leave; leave it folded as you found it in the glove compartment. If you don’t you will be reloaded to the start of the puzzle and have to start again without your mouth or fingernails. The note describes a range of mountains in the Buckle Badlands, a desert outside of Aurora. It gives you coordinates to [REDACTED]
3). Side mission (optional🙂 Follow the distant “pinging” sound to an old green beetle to get access to the optional side mission, which will take you pretty far from the main mission but still on the main track. You will find a creature which will appear to to be a head sewn to hips and a pair of legs laying on the ground wearing no clothes. It will look like it is ‘drowning’ on its back, on its back coughing up water. The mission is you have to decide if you want to kill the creature. There are no witnesses or people around to hear If you do, you get to use the green beetle for the remainder of the game. There’s a shotgun in the trunk which you may want for later depending on your play style.
Completing this mission will grant you access to the next mission, BLACK HELICOPTER.
**[Premium Member’s Edit: I made It home but when I got there all the buildings had fire in the windows and wolves prowling around the interiors but the streets are all spiderwebs. They have things in their mouths in the apartments. theres a Gun in every room of my place but none of them work.I HAVE NEVER OWNED A GUN. i keep looking through the trash and books and everything but theres nothing else i dunno how to get back. All I haveis this phone and I’ve sent this message 20 times I hope it sends now]**
MISSION 5 (Tesseract Zone): Black Helicopter.
Location: Stuck to bottom.
If you completed the side mission in the LANDFILL you will have access to the shotgun in the trunk of the beetle, which you will want to use for this mission as a failsafe. Once you arrive at Aurora, the only way up to the Buckle Mountains is through a heavily patrolled acreage of land owned by the military. There are 3 ways to get past the fence: drive the car through it, climb it (the sign saying it is electrified is a deterrent,) or walk South-West until you come to an area where the fence has been cut through. Pick the option that best fits your play style. Once you are through, walk/drive/crawl the mountains until you see a large BLACK HELICOPTER idling near the base. The painting is drawn on the bottom of the helicopter, but don’t worry you don’t need to make out most of the details.
1). Hint about how to solve it: What are the figures doing?
2). Full Solution: There is a red pyramid with symbols sweating off it in the center of the painting and everything else converges on it. There are small black figures with either swirls or tentacles for limbs walking towards the base of the pyramid where you will see a small black opening. The pyramid is situated on a solid yellow plane sitting in deep space, with deep cracks emerging all along the plane revealing dark gnarled flesh beneath. The helicopter will slowly lead you to a cave entrance at the bottom of the mountain.
From here, you will be looking for the creatures you saw in the paintings. They will be further back from the entrance and around the first branching path on the right, however if you take the other two to the left they will find you anyway. They will lead you back to a large metallic underground bunker/holding cell filled with arcane writing and religious iconography.
*[Contributor Note: when you get into the cave, you’re actually looking for naked women with the same features as the aliens in the paintings they’re human but you’ll see. They’re super old but you can’t outrun them.]*
If you can find the entrance to the cave, you win and the creatures in the cave will bring you to the pit. You have the ability to leave if you want, however you should be aware it’s on government land and snipers are stationed all along the cliffside to take out anyone seen leaving the cave. You can use the shotgun to fight your way out, or kill yourself. You only have 2 shells what come with it so choose wisely.
Once at the pit, the final unskippable finale varies but it ends with you being delivered through the pit to the Tyinn (howling vortex at the center of the Earth) where you will be able to claim your final boon. There’s no way to reload so if you don’t remember you become a tooth in the mouth that suckles the slipstream into an ultimate sickle.
//CONGRATULATIONS, YOU’VE UNLOCKED THE SOAP GOD ASCENTION CHAIN\\